Watching drunk people is fun!

So a couple of friends visited, and we had a good late night watching drunk people in the dorms. We got back to the dorms at like midnight, and saw a variety of people, and it was also funny because a lot we went to high school with. One guy we met outside the dorms, and right when we saw him, he told us he probably wouldn't remember this in the morning. So we took him with to Taco Bell, where he asked the worker a good 5-10 if he could have a bigger cup for water (although he filled his cup with Lemonade). He was loud, though funny, and he did have a little trouble with the stairs.

The next guy we saw was another guy I met earlier this year in college. And he was so drunk he could hardly stand, and couldn't really walk. He stumbled down the hall to the bathroom, and it was very funny. Then, he got back to the room (and seeing him trying to stumble into his room was one of the funniest things I've seen), before he just passed out halfway in his room and halfway out. We dragged him back in, though he got up and out a couple minutes later. Then I heard him whisper to someone (help me to the bathroom), which was good comic relief. All in all, I realized that watching stupid drunk people can be very funny.

Bring Back the 80's Slang!

So I ran across (not literally, I literally clicked across it) a website with a list of 80's slang, and I really think there are some phrases in there that need to be brough back. For example...

Bodacious - An 80's guy's way to describe a woman who had a beautiful body. She is bodacious with gnarly ta-tas. See also gnarly & ta-tas for descriptions.

Eurotrash - Europeans who were rich that frequented the club scene in the early to mid 80's.

Gnarly - Very good. Not commonly used today. She is gnarly!

Homeboy - Used in the early 80's to describe someone who is a gang banger. Later used to describe a black male - which was okay for blacks to use this word. And even later was accepted to be used by all do describe a black guy.

O-rama - Suffix you affix to a word to describe the whole spectrum of the meaning. "He is a Dweeb-o-rama". Meaning, you are describing someone that is every sense of that word.

Rad/Radical - If something is rad, it's not only attractive, it's attractive immensely.

Tubular - Something that is cool. Something overwhelming. "Tubular, totally tubular."

http://www.tripletsandus.com/80s/slang.htm

If you have any other suggestions, just comment on them, and that would be like, totally rad!!

Thoughts by the Water Cooler...

Whenever you walk by a stock ticker, it should be law that you have to make some comment like, "Crap! Intel is down again!" or "Intel is up again? I knew I should have short-sold it!"... Why does everyone have to pee like a racehorse? Do racehorses have smaller bladders than thoroughbreds?... The beginning of "Carry on My Wayward Son" by Kansas is one of the best beginnings to any song that I know... Billy Joel was wrong when he said "Only the Good Die Young"... Call me crazy, but if we're talking about cool animals, I'll take the gorilla over any of them... E.L. Fudge is an underrated cookie... Mike Tice is the worst head coach in the NFL, and it's not even close (not even Mike Martz is nearly as bad)... If someone tells you, "See ya later alligator" and you do not respond with "In a while crocodile," you deserve a beating... RUDY! RUDY! RUDY!... I need to think of more constructive things to do with my time... Best joke of all time - "When is a door not a door? When it's ajar!"... Until next time, this is Art Vandelay.

That Wasn't Funny

I hate to bring up a Seinfeld reference again, but remember the episode ("The Heart Attack") where Jerry wakes up in the middle of the night and frantically writes something that he thinks is really funny down, and it turns out to be "Flaming globes of Sigmond!" Well, something like that happened to me last night.

I was having some type of dream, I remember nothing about it except the end. I was in school or something like that, and I said something along the lines of: "If this movie were a person, it'd be 6'6''." I got huge laughs for this in my dream, and I remember thinking this was funny. So funny that at 6:30 I got my phone/alarm and put "movies-height" as a note to myself to remember this. I wake up, remember this note to myself, and it turns out not only is it not funny, it makes no sense whatsoever. Just very weird all around.

Seinfeld Season 1-3

Well I finished watching all of the Seinfeld episodes from seasons 1-3, and here are my favorites from it.

Best Analogy: "You don't understand. A garage... I can't even pull in there. It's like going to a prostitute. Why should I pay, when if I apply myself, maybe I could get it for free?" - George in The Parking Spot

Best Guest Appearance: Keith Hernandez in The Boyfriend - "GEORGE: The next thing you know, he'll have you driving him to the airport."

Best Rant, Regular Cast Member: "I don't think you do. You see, you know how to TAKE the reservation, you just don't know how to HOLD the reservation. And that's really the most important part of the reservation: the holding. Anybody can just take them." - Jerry in The Alternate Side

Best Rant, Non-Regular Cast Member: "Let me tell you something, funny boy... You know that little stamp? The one that says New York Public Library? Well, that may not mean anything to you, but that means a lot to me. One whole helluva lot. Sure, go ahead, laugh if you want to. I've seen your type before -- flashy, making the scene, flaunting convention. Yeah, I know what you're thinking... Why's this guy making such a big stink about old library books? Let me give you a hint, junior. Maybe we can live without libraries, people like you and me.... Maybe. Sure, we're too old to change the world. What about that kid, sitting down, opening a book right now in a branch of the local library and finding pictures of pee-pees and wee-wees in The Cat in the Hat and The Five Chinese Brothers. Doesn't he deserve better? Look, if you think this is about overdue fines and missing books, you'd better think again. This is about that kid's right to read a book without getting his mind warped. Or maybe that turns you on, Seinfeld... Maybe that's how you get your kicks... You and your goodtime buddies... I've got a flash for you, joy boy. Partytime is over." - Lt. Bookman in The Library

Best One Line, Regular Cast Member:""I don't return fruit. Fruit is a gamble. I know that going in." - Jerry in The Ex-Girlfriend

Best One Line, Non-Regular Cast Member: "We had a funny guy with us in Korea. Tailgunner. They blew his brains out all over the Pacific... There's nothing funny about that." - Mr. Benes in The Jacket

Best part of Conversation: Kramer: Spector gave it to me. He's giving everything away... becoming a minimalist.
George: Is that the guy who likes fat women?
Jerry: Doesn't the fat fetish conflict with the minimalism?
- The Tape

Best Episode: I'd probably have to go with The Library, with Honorable Mentions going to The Ex-Girlfriend and The Alternate Side.

Thoughts by the Water Cooler...

The question is not "How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?" so much as it is "How much wood could Chuck Woolery chuck if Chuck Woolery could chuck wood?" Those are the things I want to know...I hope I'm not the only one that misses Robert Stack... Saved by the Bell the New Class has to be one of the most miserable failures ever. What an awful show... I am single-handedly attempting to bring back the phrase "Big money big money no whammy no whammy!" I urge you to follow suit... Has there ever been any more ridiculous commericals ever than those Viagra or Levitra or whatever those ones were for? "New Haircut? Nope. New suit? Nope. I went to work, ate dinner, and I talked to my doctor." WHAT? If it's that obvious d00d, you got problems... For my money the original Law & Order is still the best... Not enough people know that Woodrow Wilson's real first name was Tommy... I have 5 tests this week that I should be studying for right now.

The Teeth Brushing Rule

So I went to the bathroom tonight to brush my teeth and put my retainers in. Anyway, there was another guy in there as well. He started to brush his teeth about 5 seconds before me. And let me tell you, he was trying to wear his toothbrush out. He just kept brushing and brushing... my teeth started to hurt. But I couldn't stop before him, because that's just a signal that he has better teeth hygeine than I do. Which is why I propose this rule: when someone starts to brush their teeth before you do, you can NOT stop before them. I don't care if they're brushing for 3 hours, you're brushing for 3 hours and 5 seconds.

As David Robinson would say, "Anything less would be uncivilized."

Thoughts while doing laundry...

Why did Adam Sandler try to become a "serious" actor? What a failure that was... Grilled cheese is really underrated... We're supposed to get snow tomorrow. It's early October. That sucks... I think the term "Pax Romana" should be used more in everyday speech... There are too few references to the Lucitania... Did anyone else confuse the guy that directed X-Files (Chris Carter) with the Vikings WR (Cris Carter)?... I've got college football fever, and I'm not going to see a doctor... Do you think Robert "Tractor" Traylor ever actually rode a tractor? Me neither... When it comes down to it, Boron is the coolest name for an element... The terms 'chum' and 'fellow' are severly underused in today's society... Cherry pie is without a doubt the best pie. Nothing else compares... I wish more people were named Boris... The Twins OF nickname "Soul Patrol" is really freaking cool... Whether it was good enough for Bobby McGee or not, freedom is not another word for "nothing left to lose"... I bet if he really had to, George Washington would tell a lie... Over/Under on people that read this without getting bored is set at 0.5.

Guy Code

So something I was discussing earlier (here's looking at you, OTBL) made me think of the Guy Code, and different parts to it. Well, I'm bored, and I have free time, so I thought I'd look up some stuff for it, and put it here for your enjoyment.

The maximum amount of time you have to wait for another guy who's running late is 5 minutes. For a girl, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 scale.

No man is ever required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering a friends birthday is strictly optional.

Before dating a buddy's ex, you are required to ask his permission and he, in return, is required to grant it.

If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem-you didn't see nothin'.

If a buddy is already singing along to a song in the car, you may not join him...too gay.

On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

Never talk to another man in the bathroom unless you are on equal footing: both urinating, both waiting in line for all other situations an "I recognize you" nod will do just fine.

Any dispute lasting any longer than 3 minutes will and must be settled by rock, paper, scissors. There is no argument too important for this determining method.

You have not made any mistake if you find that there are extra pieces after reassembling or assembling an object. In fact, you have just found a way to make that object more efficient.

In an empty room, car, ect., a man can not ask another man if he is mad because he isn’t talking.

A man shall never help another man apply sun tan oil.

For an even more in depth of the bathroom etiquette, go here.

*deep breath*

Saved by the Bell

This may very well be the second greatest show ever invented. The Jr. High years were decent but not great, the high school years were some of the best TV ever, and the College Years were very solid as well. As I've mentioned earlier, I find that Zach and A.C. hanging out with Screech so much to be unrealistic, but I can get past that, and see that Screech was a good character. Heck, all of the main six were solid characters, though Lisa and Jessie got on my nerves from time to time. Max was cool too, and I've actually seen him twice at magic shows at Valley Fair. The Mr. Belding laugh is an absolute classic, and he was just a good character overall.

However, the New Class absolutely sucked. Like, it may be the worst show ever created. Sadly, I don't see much or any Saved by the Bell anymore. I don't know when it's on, but I wouldn't really have time anyway. The DVD's are too expensive for me to buy, but if anyone wants to buy them for me, I'll watch them! Saved by the Bell rules.

Seinfeld

Very possibly, the best show ever created. I got Season 1, 2, and 3 as Christmas and Birthday presents, and the more I watch, the more I like. I haven't seen an episode I didn't like. So far, my favorite episode is The Ex-Girlfriend. I've heard that The Contest is in fact the best episode, but I have not been able to see it yet, but I would like to rectify that. It really is a show about nothing, and that is what makes it so enticing. I mean, look at these quotes from the show:

"I don't return fruit. Fruit is a gamble. I know that going in."
- Jerry, in "The Ex-Girlfriend"

"I may not look like a Murphy, but I act like a Murphy."
- Jerry, in "The Limo"

I can't run. I have a bad hamstring."
"How'd that happen?"
"I hurt it in a hotel room. You know the way they tuck the covers in real tight in those hotel rooms? I can't sleep like that, so I tried to kick it out and I pulled it."
- George and Jerry, in "The Limo"

"Let me tell you something, funny boy... You know that little stamp? The one that says New York Public Library? Well, that may not mean anything to you, but that means a lot to me. One whole helluva lot. Sure, go ahead, laugh if you want to. I've seen your type before -- flashy, making the scene, flaunting convention. Yeah, I know what you're thinking... Why's this guy making such a big stink about old library books? Let me give you a hint, junior. Maybe we can live without libraries, people like you and me.... Maybe. Sure, we're too old to change the world. What about that kid, sitting down, opening a book right now in a branch of the local library and finding pictures of pee-pees and wee-wees in The Cat in the Hat and The Five Chinese Brothers. Doesn't he deserve better? Look, if you think this is about overdue fines and missing books, you'd better think again. This is about that kid's right to read a book without getting his mind warped. Or maybe that turns you on, Seinfeld... Maybe that's how you get your kicks... You and your goodtime buddies... I've got a flash for you, joy boy. Partytime is over."
- Lt. Bookman, in "The Library"

"She needs a little tenderness. She needs a little understanding. She needs a little Kramer."
- Kramer, in "The Library"

Just a brilliant show!

Well I had some really interesting to write about...

But I forgot what it was. I'm sure it was just fascinating, but I guess we'll never know.

Well uh, how about that Wall Street? Pretty unpredictable!

Where have you gone Randy Moss?

Brilliant move Vikings.

College 2.

The time has come, I feel, to update everyone on college. It's very good. I pretty much like everything about it. The classes are much better, though some can get boring, and the fact that I have no math helps. Then again, my first test is tomorrow, so we'll see how that goes. The food is good. I like the buffet system that college offers, combined with the fact that I don't have to make anything, it's made for me, and the fact that I like pop (not soda, pop!) and it's available. So that is good.

The freedom is good. However, I disagree with Janis Joplin in that freedom is not just another word for "nothing left to lose." But I do agree that it is good enough for me and Bobby McGee. But seriously college is r0xx0r.

Random Note: Aside from Joan Osbourne's "What if God was one of Us?" song, is there any song with worse lyrics than "Breakfast at Tiffany's" by Deep Blue Something? I mean, I love that song, and it was my favorite when I was younger, but they stayed together in relationship because they both kinda liked a movie? Huh?

Random Note 2: I knoew I have mentioned this before, but I am still baffled at why Zack and AC hung out with Screech! They were probably the two most popular guys in school, and by all account Samuel P. was a nerd. Seriously, did this happen in other schools? I'm just baffled.

Fire Mike Tice!

Please. He sucks.

The team wasn't ready to go at all today. Why is Loney the O-Coordinator? After countless boneheaded in-game mistakes, a couple late season collapses, still no consistency as who's even playing RB, and Mike Tice just being stupid in general, why is he coach? This team has top 5 talent, and they sucked today. Absolutely totally sucked. Culpepper sucked yes, but the gameplan was horrific. They didn't run the ball, and they got outcoached. Combined with the Arizona debacle a couple years ago, last year's collapse, and today, Tice needs to be gone yesterday.


I'm begging.

Music

I've been criticized in the past about some of the music I like, mostly by music snobs. Well, now I'm going to come clean, and reveal the music I like that that I'm most ashamed of liking. Don't laugh, because I bet you like some terrible music as well.

Ace of Base - By all accounts, they should be terrible. I don't know if they're popular or not. But for some reason, I like most of the songs I've heard by them.

Bonnie Tyler - I like the song "Total Eclipse of the Heart." I'm not proud of it by any means, but I like the song.

Bryan Adams - I've gotten quite a bit of flack about this from the OTBL jerks (:rolleyes:), but I like "Summer of '69", and I kinda like a couple other songs of his.

Deep Blue Something - I don't know if this was a popular song or not, but "Breakfast at Tiffany's" was my all-time favorite song when I was a kid, and I still enjoy it today.

Kelly Clarkson - I don't think she's awesome or anything like that, but I generally tend to slightly enjoy her music.

Mr. Big - "To Be With You" is the only song by I know, but I like it. And it's very cheesy.

Richard Marx - Now this is the one I got made fun of the most, even though I only kinda sorta like 1 song. 1 song.

Sheryl Crow - On the whole, she is total SOC, but I like the song "First Cut is the Deepest."

And that's it. But don't worry, I still hate rap "music" and country "music."

Bad News about work today.

So I got into work today at 10 AM after my first class, and for the first hour and 40 minutes, things went like usual, meaning I just sat at the computer and didn't have to do anything. Then, the boss came back with a bunch of books that needed to be shelved! This took me an hour to an hour and fifteen minutes, meaning I actually had to do a little work! What an outrage!

In other news, me and my friends are starting up a fantasy football league. We have 4 teams, with 40 players each. 6 QB, 8 RB, 10 WR, 5 TE, 3 K, 5 D, 1 HC, 1 P, and 1 WR/RB. I also increased the scoring totals so that a ridiculous amount of points will be scored. Should be a good time! Draft is tonight!

Finally, anyone watch that Miami/FSU game last night? What an ugly game, but it was definitely entertaining. Drew Weathorford was absolutely horrific for FSU, but he was just a little better than the Miami special teams (2 missed FG, 1 punt blocked, 1 botched snap) in the 10-7 win. One thing I liked about the game was Kyle Wright. He struggled in the 1st quarter, but he looks like he's going to be a very good player. Him and Jeff Olsen, the TE for Miami, looked very comfortable together.

Last, someone should have told me that Intro to Fiction meant read short stories and write 2 page papers on your thoughts about the story after every class period. What a terrible class.

Coolest Job Ever.

So I've probably got the coolest job ever right now. I am a Library Assistant at the Geology Library (no, I'm not gay). I get to basically pick whenever I want to work during the day, plus I work 1-2 nights a week. I worked tonight from about 3-9.

Now remember, this is a Geology Library, AKA no one comes in there, especially at night. For example, from about 5-9, one guy came in to the library, and he made 2 copies and left. I worked on homework and surfed the internet anywhere from 4-5 hours, and I got paid for it, which is good since that's what I would have been doing anyway.

So basically, it's like the coolest job ever. So have a drink on me if you like super easy jobs!

I'm still alive...

Just busy, busy, busy. Between classes, work, homework, and friends, I've had little to post here lately. That and I can't think of anything to write and I don't want to bore the reader! Anyway, all is going well, Intro to Fiction is hard, and I've got a super-easy and cool job at the Geology Library! So when I think of something cool and entertaining to write, I'll be sure to post it. If anyone has any suggestions for something for me to write, I could use them! :D

Classes

So I've been to all my classes except the lab, but that doesn't meet until next week. Here's my general thoughts on them.

Intro to Fiction - I've already had to write two 2-page summaries on different short stories, and that's after one class. Depending on how tough the teacher grades the summaries, this could be a good class. It's fairly interesting, and though there is kinda a lot of work, hopefully it won't be too bad.

Western Civilization - meets once a week for 2 hours. The professor seemed very cool and funny after one class, but I have heard that he's not really good, and he'll just ramble on and you won't know what his main points are. But really, the class will come down to how hard of a grader he is. I think the class should be pretty interesting, but all of the tests are essays, and the difficulty of the class will depend on how hard he grades those essays.

Biology - Another really cool and really nice teacher. I've heard good things about the class and the teacher. While the subject matter may get a little dull at times (plants, etc.) the class shouldn't be too bad and shouldn't be too hard.

Intro to Space Studies - Kinda an odd class for me to take since I'm not in Aviation, but I thought it sounded interesting. We'll basically study space, as the title implies. Hard to get a read on how hard/easy the class will be, so I'll update that later on.

U.S. since 1877 - I've heard the porfessor is very cool, very nice, and very easy, which sounds great. The first class didn't do anything to dispel those notions for me. All of our tests will be multiple choice, and that's basically the whole grade. Should be a fun and interesting class.

In addition, I've already gotone job as a Library Assistant, which will probably be about 10-15 hours a week. Also, I've played for a job as Lab Assistant, and I'll find out if I get that tomorrow or Friday. That would also probably be about 10 hours a week. So depending on homework and how much I work, I could be a very busy man this semester.